I wish I could be one of those individuals who can blog on a daily basis and post something on Facebook without a care in the world as to whether or not people respond—positively or negatively. But I am not. I actually become more energized and motivated to engage in the virtual world when I see people paying attention to the things I write about, and/or the things I find important enough to post, through their “likes,” comments and inquiries. Plus, these types of online interactions don’t carry the risk of unnecessary exchanged pleasantries and platitudes that can occur with daily face-to-face dialogues.
As a person who relies on receiving responses, I couldn’t help but notice the dearth of feedback when I recently posted blogs on May as Matriarch’s Month: a month that honors the amazing unknown “matriarchs” who have fearlessly carved paths for women who may have otherwise not have had their own sense of freedom.
I definitely have written blogs that didn’t precipitate much of a response. So why did I notice the lack of responses to the two recent blogs, in particular? The answer may lie in the several responses to a YouTube video I posted this past Sunday, of an incredible young woman named Lizzie Velasquez. Lizzie shares her story through index cards that hide her face from the camera. On each of the cards are a few sentences (which look like they were handwritten by Lizzie) describing her harrowing journey thus far, and her hopes and dreams for the future. Even at the end of the video, when Lizzie finally reveals her face that explains the torture she has endured since she was a little girl, it’s her handwriting on the index cards that captivates the viewer.
I was so awestruck by Lizzie’s courage to share her narrative with the world on YouTube, that I decided to post it on my Facebook timeline. And within 12 hours, nine people responded. Not that I am surprised. Lizzie’s story is humanizing, enlightening and humbling. But why were there so many immediate responses to this particular post and not so many responses to my other post where I had asked the simple question, “Whom would you consider to be a matriarch?”
I don’t know exactly how to answer the question except, perhaps my Facebook friends and I root for the underdogs of this world. And little Miss Lizzie is certainly an underdog. Maybe, Lizzie will have the wonderful opportunity to became a matriarch herself, and have women write about her amazing feats in life has an underdog.
So, here is another question: If you could not conjure up a list of matriarchs to share, who is a female underdog you would like to champion? And does she have the qualifications to be a matriarch? If so, why?
And yes, thank you Lizzie for sharing your story. You may only be a 23-year-old woman who has many years to live before becoming a matriarch, but after what you have shared with the world, you are not only an underdog, you are an inspiration and exemplar of fortytude.
A matriarch/underdog (well less underdog and more unappreciated) who I would like to champion/thank is my mother. She is the oldest of 5 sisters and as my grandmother (whom I love dearly) isn’t exactly the maternal type, my mother often had to not only be the oldest sibling, but also act as a surrogate parent. Growing up I know my aunts have taken some of the things my mom did for them for granted and often resented her as they would a parent for things she did in their interest.
After getting married and having my brother and I, my mom had to add my dad, my brother and myself to the list of people she worked her behind-the-scenes magic for. And par for the course, my brother and I often took the things she did for us for granted, and also often resented her for doing them.
Now my mother has added my grandmother to her unending list of caretakee’s. As my grandmother has gotten older, and a role reversal has taken place between her and my mother, I now see my grandmother taking for granted and often resenting the things that my mother tirelessly does for her.
I’m not saying that my mother is perfect or that everything she does is the right thing, but regardless of the result or how it may come off, I know for certain that everything my mother has ever done for any of us was always in our best interest in the best way she knew how. Her actions and methods may not always be the most thoughtful or effective…she doesn’t always stop to consider whether what she is doing, though a perfect solution for herself if she was in the same predicament, is actually the right thing for the person she’s trying to help. I can say for certain that everything that she has ever done has ALWAYS come from a loving and caring place. And regardless of how many times we all take what she does for granted or resent her for some way that she has tried to help, she is still always there ready to give us her best effort, often even before we realize that we need anything,
So I would like to send out a BIG THANK YOU and champion my mother, all the underdog parents, older siblings, and caretakers in general out there who tirelessly, and selflessly help us time and time again, even when we don’t appreciated it or are aware of it.