#SharedSecrets: Episode 23

The Secrets Singles Keep While Dating with Helen Fisher


When my guest in today’s episode was choosing a topic for her Ph.D. dissertation, she asked herself what all people have in common. Lucky for us, Dr. Helen Fisher chose to research how sex, romance and reproduction affect the human brain, and has made a career of exploring the topic. Naturally, I had to interview her for my Shared Secrets series on our sex lives.

Helen, now a renowned biological anthropologist, might be best known for her role as chief scientific advisor to the Internet dating site Match.com. In the episode, she spills the beans about what singles lie about when they date online. She shares that men and women lie differently, and explains the motivation behind these lies. She also tells me how these minor fibs can highlight our most primal and deeply ingrained urges.

Helen has also researched what happens in our brains when we’re in long-term, happy relationships, and she tells me about the three brain regions that activate when we’re in a good partnership. And she divulges the No. 1 trait all singles are looking for in a partner—it might surprise you!

More about Helen:
Helen Fisher, Ph.D., is a biological anthropologist, author and speaker who researches how sex, love, marriage and gender differences affect the brain. She is a senior research fellow at The Kinsey Institute; a member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University; and chief scientific advisor to the Internet dating site Match.com. She has conducted research and written six books on the evolution and future of human sex, love, marriage and gender differences in the brain, and how your personality style shapes who you are and who you love. She is currently using her knowledge of brain chemistry to discuss the neuroscience of business leadership and innovation. Her TED talks have been viewed by millions of people.